I know the struggle with food, body, weight and, ultimately, worthiness all too well. If dieting and bingeing were a profession I would be one rich b*** because I did it for almost 20 years.
Growing up I was the dark haired chubby girl in a sea of skinny blonde kids. Even though I didn’t care that I looked different from my peers I used food as a blankie from a very young age. It wasn’t until age 14 that I started being tired of always being the “bigger” one. That same year I read my first Teen Magazine. On the cover was a skinny blonde girl in a skimpy neon green bikini. I studied that magazine like it was holy scripture and newly enlightened I started to follow the diet tips to a T which led me to lose a bunch of weight in a very short time. During my teenage years I could keep my weight low by adhering to strict food rules and as a child of the nineties I lived on anything and everything fat free. Diet soda was my closest ally and a way of totally cheating the system…or so I thought.
Then came the inevitable backlash. A series of emotionally disturbing events led me to start bingeing…and dieting….and bingeing….and dieting. Instead of feeling my sadness, grief and pain I stuffed it down food. And that’s what I would do for the next 15 years.
Until I hit a series of low points brought to me by life and love. They were the catalyst after several years of being acutely aware that something had to change but not knowing how, despite receiving quality health care and love and support from those around me.
I started to find my way out by doing the exact opposite of what I had been doing for most of my life. Because there was nothing else I could do, nowhere else to go. Because I was deadly tired of being disappointed and blaming myself for never being able to stick to a diet for more than a day. And because I didn’t want to waste any more time sitting at home longing for the days when I would have the skinny body and the “perfect” life to follow and growing more and more bitter by the minute.
My desire to live a full life grew stronger than my desire to be thin.
I committed to embrace my life and myself in any way, shape or form it would take me. I found my own version of freedom and I started working with women who wanted to do the same.
During my years in the body hate trenches I would read a story similar to that I just told you and think “Good for her(because it was almost always a she), but I am different, supremely flawed, and will have to live with my food and body angst for the rest of my life”.
So if that’s your thinking but you still have a tiny glimmer of hope for change I encourage you to contemplate working with me. If you are afraid and apprehensive but know deep down that you can’t go on living in food prison, send me an e-mail and we’ll take it from there. And for those completely ready and able to start I welcome you too! If you want to stop putting your life on hold and start to fight for food and body freedom, get in touch! I very much look forward to hearing from you!
Here’s to a life beyond body, food and weight obsession!